It's not sexy...it's animal

Momma's Log August  27 (Kwrp)

A couple weeks ago Super Rock Star and I had a little extra coin and decided to do some clothes shopping at the outlet mall in Castle Rock.  We had Tweedledee and Tweedledum in tow, so we knew it was going to be a stellar day (Not really. They hate shopping unless we're looking for toys--which is hardly ever--so they each make it their life mission to make sure we hate it too.)

Anyway, I found myself in the GAP outlet store where a pair of denim shorts caught my eye. They were on sale for a price that was hard to pass up.  I didn't really pay much attention to them other than they were my size and they were cheap.  So they came home with me.  When we got home, I took them out of the bag and noticed some writing on the inside waste band:

"SEXY BOYFRIEND SHORT"

Wow! They didn't appear all that sexy to me, but hey, advertising doesn't lie right?.  Let's pop these babies on so I can strut my stuff.  Now, folks, I'm not always the best judge of what is sexy and what is not.  I tend to be a little self-deprecating when it comes to assessing myself, but I think we can all be real honest and say these shorts are NOT sexy.

Not even a little.  It's o.k. Say it out loud to yourself right now.  Whisper it if you need to... it won't hurt my feelings.  "Not sexy."  Mom jeans are sexier than these. Just to be sure, I asked Super Rock Star for his honest opinion.  Howling laughter was not what I anticipated, but it definitely confirmed what I already suspected. I even tried to do the "movie star" pose in them and Nopety nope nope..still not working.

But, it got me to thinking about that whole word "sexy."  Why did GAP feel like they had to put that word on an item of clothing that so obviously was not?  Judging by the enormous stack of them at the store, I'm guessing it was a desperate attempt to sell some not-so-special shorts.  I, apparently, was one of the few takers.  But, here's the deal: I bought them without knowing they said that, so I already had made the purchase.  It's the expectation that came from seeing that word later that led to disappointment.  I would have purchased the shorts no matter what, but the word "Sexy" intrigued me.  It was like a magic wand promising to wave away the doldrums of my ordinary self and causing to expect more if I put on this article of cheap clothing.   Is this what it's come to?  Am I really that gullible?  GAP, you lied.  Maybe you could argue that the ones in size 0 on a stick thin, 6-foot tall supermodel would be sexy.  But, most would tell you that these rare creatures could be clothed in garbage bags full of garbage and make it look appealing.  My favorite example of this has been the blog post going around where "every day women" (as opposed to the fake robot ones) put on swimming suits and strike poses that the Victoria's Secret models wore in their swimsuit addition.  If you missed it here it is.

Victoria's Secret is notorious for trying to make things look sexier than they are.  A few years ago Beth Moore wrote a blog post about how she came unglued with them in one of their stores for peddling "Sexy Gum."  Yeah,  apparently they sold gum and called it Sexy.  Really? Gum is seriously one of the least sexy items on this planet.  Her stance was "why are they trying to bring sex into every aspect of common everyday items?" Preach it Beth! But, unless you consider looking like a cow chewing its cud sexy, I think we can safely call "sexy gum" another advertising lie.  

So, be on the look out my fair citizens.  Consider this your public service announcement.  Just because something says it's sexy does not mean it is. You have been warned.

P.S. Sherri Koch is the big winner of the flashdrive from last weeks drawing!  Congratulations Sherri!  Stay organized! Ha!